Visit Britain: We have Beer, Booze and lot of Bureaucracy, which, will Guarantee a Hangover
Posted: Wednesday, October 28, 2009
by Connor Davidson
In Britain, and many other countries, bureaucracy is an absolutely legless drunk. This has resulted in an explosion of white vomit with chunks of paper clips and staples floating – at perfect right angles to each other – in it. With this article I want to take a real hard look at bureaucracy (preferably not the vomit) and determine if it is the most wonderful thing since meticulously sliced bread or as bad as signing a form under the dotted line in pencil.
Thinking about government agencies - I want to go off on a, possibly humorous, tangent leading to a serious circumference on another circle. Remember the sketches in Little Britain with the police officer standing at the door of 10 Downing Street? You know… the one where the robber (or crook etc) runs past and the officer won't move? Well, bureaucracy in the police force is much the same. I can imagine a robber running straight past the police station with a police officer firmly stapled to the desk refusing to give chase as he is being forced (for reasons I don't quite understand) to fill in a form. Has he hand cuffed himself to the fence?
He looks very stern.
Pic from Wiki
Pic from Wiki
Then you have banking. I went to take out a bureaucratic bank account with a bureaucratic bank in the great bureaucracy we call the UK. Here is what happened…
I went into the bank to open an account. I first had to show some identity and then go through some security questions with the lady. Having done that I had to go on the phone to someone else who went through identical security questions and then asked things like: where would the money be coming from, a bunch of numbers that are now my alternate name and then they asked me if I wanted them to send me some marketing junk or bureaucracy to ensure my shredder never goes on a diet. After about an hour in the bank and 120 questions, or so, later I plodded out without even having an open account. Then I had to fill in an application form. Don't they already know I want the account and why wait a week for the form to arrive in the post? They already know enough to write a short biography.
Alas, as annoying as all of this was, I am quite happy that they done all of this because it means I am safe. I'd stay for two hours if it meant my money was that bit safer.
I asked my twitter followers for some opinions (it is good to hear what other people think rather than just me all the time) on bureaucracy and I got an interesting response from Oscar MacAndrew where he talks about applying for a national insurance number from Revenue and Customs: "I had to phone up HM rev to apply for an application form to be sent to me, after I fill it out. I send it off and I should get my national insurance number after that and that was just today". He goes on to summarise bureaucracy: "everything takes forever because it has to be perfect."
But despite bureaucracy being such an expensive, time consuming and often wasteful activity it is a huge part of management. In order to effectively manage anything it must have systems in place to ensure everything works properly. It makes banking safe - imagine if the lady in the bank said "never mind bringing in your identity your probably who you say you are and as for the security questions I really can't be bothered… it's all bureaucracy and no-one, apart from management, honestly cares". Do you think we would be in a pickle if that sort of thing started happening? Or would you rather go into see the doctor and have to explain in full medical jargon the full history of treatment you have received in your life or would you rather they just wrote a file on you?
So, I hope I have showed you that bureaucracy is a problem and that we should take steps to curb it - we have gone too far. But always remember the previous paragraph: bureaucracy does speed operations and is important. But it should never take away in the way it has to the police force. Many people say that bureaucracy has crippled the police force and in terms of productivity and "on the street" policing it has indeed. Sadly, much of the bureaucracy out there is not for you but rather for the protection of the writer.
Connor Davidson is a UK based writer. He writes on wide variety of topics with his main interest being science, maths and engineering.
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You can keep up to date with his writings by following him on twitter or Google+
Feel free to reprint these articles on your website by using the reprint button. If you have any questions or comments please post them below - I read all comments.
You can keep up to date with his writings by following him on twitter or Google+
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More commentsAdd a little research to it. Take out some or most of the "is" and "was" for more active sentence construction, and your article grows legs of its own.I like the metaphors. I like the subject and its execution.This one needs a special place in your working papers because bureaucracy needs attention.How about corruption, like government employees profitting from their privileged government information?Keep writing.eddie evansCirime Scene CleanupGood advice that I will try in my next article.Thanks for the comment.
Love your beginning analogies:"bureaucracy is an absolutely legless drunk" I think most of us will agree that in theUS also things have gotten totally out of hand. anything the Government gets control of seems to be complicated (unnecessarily) beyond belief. Look at the IRS instructions forms for the past many years for example. Thanks for spotlighting this problem which is apparently common to both of our countries. MarijoI've never seen an IRS form but I think that is something to do with tax. Correct?Thanks for the comment.Yes and it is a mess to figure out - tax preparerers have my sympathies and it just goes on from there. Marijo
Good article Connor. I get put out somewhat at the present over employment of civil servants myself. Our town has been about the same size (population)since 1940, or beyond. I can recall when I was a kid, we had 4 policemen. How they divided up the shifts, I have no idea. There was one squad car. I believe we now have 31 policement and almost as many cars! I know, they do have a tough job and I respect them very much...bu about 8 times as many for the same population! Of course, there is more meanness now to.Has the crime rate changed?Thanks for the comment.
Another good example of a waste of money are all the cctv's, they only catch a minimal amount of criminals. I thought America was bad, but it looks like you guys are beating us on the whole police state thing. Latest crazy news i heard were that parents were not allowed to watch their own children in playgrounds? Wow.Thanks for the comment.
Hi ConnorIt's funny you wrote about banking. I have a problem with my bank. I go and deposit checks and money using a printed bank deposit slip--with my name, address, etc. They take my money with a nice smile and deposit it in their bank.
The times I ask for them to tell me my current balance, they ask to see my identification. They take my money, deposit it which is attached to my deposit slip and do not ask for my ID, but when I want to know how much I have in my account they want to see my ID! I have always let it go but recently I spoke up.
They told me they were protecting my money. Okay, I'm in the security type business and I kind of understand but the way it's done sucks...so...bureaucracy can suck !!!! Good topic to bring up in your article...it allowed me to vent!I guess the banks are still begging for money.Thanks for the comment.
It's all too true as well here,across the pond; paper pushers abound and we are all nauseous from red tape.Paul SchroederThanks for the comment.
Thanks Connor. I have some second-hand understanding of the British system, as my daughter lives in England (has been there for about three years) and is married to a Brit.Nevertheless, I believe that the poor, in any nation, understands bureaucracy in a way that others can not. When one is impoverished, red tape, delays and sadly, even discourtesy become the norm.There are many in the states who would have us to believe that bureaucracy, I'm not just speaking about the poor now, is a wholly governmental enterprise or transgression. Not at all. Many businesses and corporations operate in the very same way --- health insurance companies, cable/satellite dish companies, banks etc.I suppose it comes down to which bureaucracy you have the greater affinity for :) Thanks for this humorous and intelligent read Connor.Thanks for the comment.
An excellent written piece of writing.
Hi Connor,Your article just reminds me that no matter where we live on this planet, governments are too similar in all the wrong ways...I fear all the governments of the world, good and bad, have gotten far too big for their britches and are in business to protect their "phoney baloney jobs" as opposed to trying to help their citizens.Cheers,DebiThanks for the comment.
It seems that here the size of our government keeps growing. Pretty scary situation. Good article. Enjoyed the humor. Thanks for sharing.Thanks for the comment.
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