Is It Good To Tell Someone They're Fat?
Posted: Friday, May 22, 2009
by Connor Davidson
I have seen many people tell others who are overweight they are fat and give the excuse that they are doing a"good deed" - no matter how rude they are actually being. But what is this "good deed"? Well, many people think that by telling others they are fat that it will make them lose weight and become happy. However, I don't believe this has a lot of truth to it.
I can understand a doctor expressing concern or a close friend or family member – but there is a certain way of doing this. To be able to tell some one they need to lose weight you have to care about them: it is no use stating what is –sadly- obvious; you need to be tough but gentle and always remember that if they don't want to lose weight they won't.
As for those ignorant [insert word starting with "a" and ending with "holes"] who think childish playground style comments are in anyway constructive you are so very mistaken. All I can see happening is the taunted developing a hard shell or yo-yo dieting.
At this point I would like to make the point to try to establish what is better a long happy life with a weight problem or a miserable life of being self-conscious of everything you eat and spending hours in the gym. The first is certainly better but the best would be a mid-ground which is best achieved with proper support as opposed to being taunted and teased.
I think that it is safe to say that being overweight is not good and is in no way healthy. But derogatory comments help no-one, and will only lead to greater problems. So if you see some one who is overweight show some respect: they are very much human and it is not your place to make a comment even to someone else about them. For if you fall into the so called "good deed" mentality remember you are not the solution you are just enlarging the problem.
Connor Davidson 05/22/09
This Article has been viewed 1,623 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
More commentsConnor,Great write, and I couldn't see telling a person "You're FAT" is in anyway a "good deed". Now, perhaps the way a person says it may not seem as bad, but it's all bad to me. But I found your submission to be very interesting ... and, one to grow on!Thanks for sharing it with us.I agree with you - why is being nasty good?Thanks for the comment.
great article i enjoyed the readThanks for the comment.
Very good, Connor. My young granddaughter is overweight and it breaks my heart to know that she truly wants to lose weight, but just doesn't have the will power to turn down all the sweets, pop, and other fattening food that she needs to avoid. Her mother and I have both tried talking with her about it without hurting her feelings, but we just can't seem to get through. Maybe when she is older, her priorities will change.Thanks for sharing.SandraI guess that is the situation of countless others - I am sure that you will be one of the people who provide the support I was talking about in the article.Thanks for the comment.
Overweight folks. like myself, do not need to be reminded- we know. Our symptomology is apparent to the world, where others are hidden, but, we all have problems.On an American TV show an overeight woman was chiding her sister for her abuse of alcohol. She pointed to what was in her sisters hand and said, "Well, have another shot of pancake!"Crude, but relevant.Nice job here, Connor.That is a clasic episode of giving advice without taking it.Thanks for the comment.
No way is it a good idea. It's rude, and could be dangerous!I agree...Thanks for the comment.
Connor, this article tells it all. Being fat or overweight is not something to celebrate but rather, a modern problem. Parents are said to be responsible for their fat children. On the whole, I think FOOD is the main culprit but who can resist such temptation?HildaI can understand the temptation of sweet, sweet chocolate or a big fat cake. I think temptation is a big part of the problem - you only have to watch some of the people on that horrible show - the Biggest looser - to understand.Thanks for the comment.
This is a needed topic. As a therapist, I try to help people learn to recognize their problems issues and self destructive tendencies without being rude or judgmental. It is, after all, ultimately their choice and their life.As a friend, it seems that if we want to help, a better way rather than by making rude comments would be to invite the overweight friend for a gentle walk, or for a healthy lunch with fruit, salad and low-fat choices. That is being truly helpful, rather than merely thoughtless.Indeed people have a tendency not to no what they don't want to.Thanks for the comment.
I do agree with the intent expressed here but would like to see it written with more punch.Fair enough...Thanks for the comment.
Hi Connor.Anywhere you go, there are always people who have very negative attitude towards someone, no matter what it is. Instead of giving constructive thoughts, they give hurting words. Why is that?I loved your article, well written and right to the point.Best regards,NenitaJust to name a few: arrogance, ignorance, stupidity, no emotions, superiority complex, inverted inferiority complex, disregard for others or there just pure enigmas.Thanks for the comment.
I was taught long ago by someone wiser and older "If you can't say something positive, don't say anything". Many of us would do well to say less, more often!Yes that is a good philosophy most of the time - though don't become a critic.Thanks for the comment.
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